Actualización final

This will be my last post from Mexico. A little later today I will get into the car that will take me to the bus which will take me to the plane which will take me to the other plane which will take me to the car which will take me to the house where I will spend the first night of what will be at least a year of nights in the United States of America. Whew. Sorry, when I'm tired I tend to rant.

That said, this is pretty much the official end of my JYA in Puebla. Whoa. Just whoa.

Maybe it's because it's pushing 2 in the morning, or maybe it's because I've just come home from my final goodbye party (which may or may not have included several kick-ass mojitos with the foodies), or maybe it's simply because it's too much to express rationally, but I am having a very hard time putting into logical words what I need to say. So I'll put it in emotions:

I feel so full of love for everyone that I have met here and who have shaped my time here in Mexico. I feel sad that I will probably never see some of them again, but happy that I know I will see at least a few of them many more times, both in this life and in those yet to come. I feel excitement to come "home" but immense trepidation at the thought of re-integrating into a culture/society that I'm not so sure I still belong to. I am so grateful to everyone in the USA who made this year possible, and to those who tried to stop me from coming; without them I never would have found my own voice. I feel great love for people on both sides of what I perceive as a rather large gap, and great disappointment that there are differences which simply may never be reconciled (between these two "sides" and within myself). I have spoken of this to many of my friends here, and most of the cooler ones have assured me that none of us can belong fully to any society and so trying to fit ourselves into categories like "Mexican" or "Gringo" are a waste of time. I would honestly love to believe them, but I'm a little dubious about it. Only time will tell, I suppose.

Anyway, life is beautiful. My bags are packed, I have said goodbye to everyone, and whether I like it or not my plane leaves tomorrow to bring me back to the life that I knew so well before coming here. I brought things with me, left some things here, and picked up some new things. The current of life streams onward and I plan to keep my head well above water, because there's too much to do and see to let yourself get pulled under.

Desfile de fotos

In almost exactly five and a half days from this moment, I will be arriving safely at home in upstate New York. It seems like a small event, the same bus ride, the same flight, the same car, the same bed. It will, really, be a return to my normal little life. Or that's the idea, anyway. When I look back at my life, it will be this past year that stands out as something out-of-the-ordinary, but right now it is the return to the "normal" that seems so unusual. I will return to my mother tongue, to the country and the culture which was my home for the first 20 years of my life. I will welcome it with open arms, and surely it will do the same for me. But are we still compatible? I know that I am a very different person from the timid little creature that got on a plane last autumn, and the person I am now will most certainly not fit into exactly the same niche as the one left vacant by Sara Hope Sirois. The question, however, is whether or not Sara Esperanza Suárez will be able to find her own niche in a world that may no longer be hers. To tell the truth, I thought I was "a little nervous" about leaving "the familiar, comfortable northeastern United States for our neighbor to the south, Mexico" but that was nothing compared to how nervous I am about heading back up north. So admist all this whining and complaining and worrying lies the moral of the story: if I seem a little out of sorts upon my return, please be compassionate; I will probably feel rather like a stranger in my own home.

Whew! Okay, so this blog post was supposed to be an exaltation of all my favorite people here in Mexico, but apparently I had something I needed to get off my chest. Sooooo anyway... a photo tribute to all the Mexicans and almost-Mexicans who have made my time here so special:


Phoebe, myself, Cat, and Hugo in Acapulco. Cat and Phoebe are two of the sweetest, bravest, most talented women I have ever had the pleasure of meeting. I passed some wonderful times with them (even if they couldn't eat street food) but I don't think I ever made clear to them just how much I admire them and how grateful I am that I had the opportunity to spend last semester with them. Even though Hugo and I may no longer really be speaking (He de-friended me on facebook! Que mala onda!!) he will forever go down in the books as a very important person to me and my time in Mexico. With him I learned how to tune a guitar, I learned where to go for the best milkshakes in Puebla, and I learned that I have a passion for movies and for people who love to talk about movies.




Stephanie and Toby, my most-favoritest after-class-coffee-date friends! Women who will take the world by storm, one well-argued point after another. Both of strong convictions and unafraid to break the rules for a just cause. We damn well better see each other soon, ladies!




Gabriel and Jaime, being... well... themselves. I can only say that we have had some pretty interesting times together. Cholulandia would never have had the same charm without them, and I would never have embraced my drinking-swearing-spitting alterego. Seriously, though, aside from helping turn me into Bonnie Parker these guys have helped me perfect my Spanish (both profane and polite), have celebrated several important holidays with me, and will be sorely missed.




LA FRIJOLAAAAAAAAAA (Can we keep her? Please? Can we? Pleasepleaseplease?)




Andrea and Dofus at the base of Popocatépetl. No words can properly describe how important they are to me, so I won't even try.




The biology gang!! They are the smelliest, dirtiest, crudest, smartest, most forward-thinking group of people I've ever met. You can't beat bonding over a week-long spell in the desert!



Cristina, whose picture you will find under the dictionary entry for the phrase "salt of the earth."



Jonatan. Big boy, big heart. The truth is that I wish we'd spent more time together. Plus you know he's awesome because in this photo he's making lasagna. HOME-MADE LASAGNA.


Meet Erika, a new addition to the program this semester. Some people should have been Smithies but just never got the message. She is crazy, fun, irreverent, mischievous, and resourceful.




TRIO DE GRINGAAAAAAAAS. We have spent countless hours doing all those non-specific but essential things that girlfriends do. We may all be pretty different, but that's what makes for good friends, right? Jackie has taught me how to kick ass and take names, and Joelle has taught me how to sugar-coat an unpleasant truth. They both have taught me lots of verbs, nouns, and adjectives. But despite their best efforts, I still don't have a hold on the pinche subjuntivo.




Misa and Roy, the daring duo in their traditional Mexican party-sombreros. I love these two like my own brothers, and they think of me as their little sister (which, I assure you, is awesome at certain times and infuriating at others). They truly have been guiding forces for me, and their influence will not soon be forgot.




My host parents!! Alba is a sweet older lady who never thinks that anyone, ever, has had enough to eat. She believes that there is no such thing as too much jewelry, and that Renoir is the coolest thing since sliced bread. Gabriel (known as el Doctor) suffers from dementia and as such seems to bounce between two poles: the friendly jokester who loves to sing along with the old Mexican movies, make silly faces at the dinner table, and gently poke fun at everyone around him... and the angry child who wants everything his own way and needs to know exactly where everyone is. Anyway, they have welcomed me into their home, not just as an exchange student, but as a friend and family member.



This lovely specimen is my dear friend Noel, better known as Fachas. He is the younger brother of Dofus, and we had a class together all of last semester... and never spoke once. Until this semester, that is. And the minute we opened up to each other, we both realized that we share one of those crazy cosmic bonds where you know you met in some earlier life. My first official act was to knock out his four front teeth (his bridge, that is) and his was to laugh hysterically, bear-hug me, and go off on a rant about how it's easier to smoke a cigarette without those pesky incisors. We both recognize that our relationship this semester was a flash in the pan, but we get the sense that it was just one flash in a long series that we have shared. Maybe next time we'll meet in Africa or Antarctica...




And last but certainly not least we have Martha and Rebeca, my sisters. I do not say "host-sisters" because I consider them my true sisters, and that's all one really needs to say


P.S. I stole a bunch of these photos from my friends.

México en la Piel

There is a rather famous song here called "México en la Piel" written by José Manuel Fernández and made famous by Luis Miguel. The song repeats "Así se lleva México en la piel" which basically suggests that 'Mexico is carried in the skin', that it is part of everyone who has ever experienced it, inescapable.

If you would like to hear the song, this video (which was most definitely NOT made by yours truly) has good audio quality and while the quality of the video is poor, this was the only one whose images actually look like the Mexico I know and love.

Anyway, I am here to tell you that while the metaphor may be true, I am not literally carrying Mexico in my skin. Rather, I am carrying it the adipose tissue which lies just underneath my skin. That is, I'm carrying about 20 pounds of Mexico, specifically in my thighs, belly, and love-handles. All this "Mexico" comes not without hard work and dedication, however! Do you know how much street food you have to eat to do this to yourself???

While I consider that my progress in the gastronomic experimentation sector of life has been pretty strong throughout this entire year, since I only have less than 2 weeks here in Mexico I've been really kicking it into high gear and going for it! This is the last 500m of a 5k race, the last 5 questions on a timed test, the last... calf-brain taco in a series of strange foods? It is, as Karen Klinger would say, time to empty the tank (though little does she realize that in this particular case it's really more a question of filling the tank- with delicious food).

Let me say here that Mexican food has a tendency to use all of the animal, so the opportunities for "weird" foods abound. Last night, for example, our late-night taco binge included the very standard tacos arabes (spicy meat- much more than that no one seems to know), the rather unusual but delicious tacos de lengua (cow tongue), the mysterious tacos de cabeza (simply means "head"- I can't visualize it, but it tastes great!), and the texturally unique tacos de ojo (made of some poor creature's eyes- incidentally, actually "taco de ojo" is also the Mexican expression for "eye candy" and echarse un taco de ojo can either mean to eat an actual taco made of eyes or to check out a particularly nice piece of eye candy). On the menu were also tacos made of tripe, cheeks, genitals, lips, brains, and a few things which even my Mexican companions could not identify. To be perfectly honest, however, once each of these tacos is topped with onion and cilantro, drenched in lime juice, and smothered in either red or green salsa (or both, if you're a rebel), they all begin to taste pretty similar.

Other 'odd' foods which I have recently included in my diet are mole de panza (a sort of soup which includes chunks of cow stomach), tostadas de pata (fried tortillas layered with lettuce, tomato, cheese, radishes, salsa, and strips of gelatinous hoof meat), flautas de sesos (brains mixed with spices, rolled into a tortilla and fried), tacos filled with a spicy congealed blood sausage (whose name I don't remember), and mole flavored ice cream (which actually tastes like the spicy, savory mole sauce).

The moral of the story is that if you don't eat meat, in Mexico you miss a big part of the culture. And if you don't eat "weird" animal parts, you're just plain missing out! And if you don't eat street food, you will probably avoid 'carrying Mexico in your skin' but what fun would that be?